My Dearest T —

—Do you know who you are?

I watched the most fascinating movie last night.

I found it by accident.

It lives on the same plane as my script, only in a far, far different quadrant.

Is nothing new under the sun?

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Boston’s haunting me.

I remembered one day in the dining hall sitting with a friend, and a girl I had a crush on walked through the door.

My friend teased me —You completely lit up, she said —You absolutely came alive.

I suppose I did.

(I haven’t changed.)

The same friend who, prophetically, thought I should direct movies.

(I write them, close enough.)

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I watched the best documentary two nights ago, Yves Saint Laurent: The Last Collections.

On work —I changed and decided to be happy, and to work in joy.

On creativity —Walk along the rooftops without slipping and falling…

(Neil Gaiman says almost the same thing in his own colorful way.)

On confidence —You must have assertions which can become certitudes to be shared with others…If you have doubts, others won’t believe in you.

On quintessence —It requires an elegance of the heart.

While watching, I had a song in my heart.

(sentimental me)

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I suppose I feel proud of a few things.

(not the ones you think)

Tonight I thought, what I feel most proud of is, learning to engage with people.

(yes i had to learn)

I spent too much of my life cut off from them.

Sometimes they infuriate me; often they enthrall me.

(I have only fallen in love twice though.)

Fun fact:

The phrase fall in love — which sounds like it has existed forever — only came into usage in 1913! (Source: OED.)

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I had some big presentations this week.

I don’t have the luxury of being nervous.

I need to do well.

People rely on me — period.

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I’ve only told my friend Sarah this:

If I ever own a bar, I’ll name it Franklin & Winston’s, after my two heroes who were also great friends.

They inspired each other — and me!

I remembered this quote yesterday, aligned with some other reading:

—The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.

(The adage predates F.D.R., F.Y.I.)

I never really thought about it though.

When I did, it hit me.

Fear separates us from each other, from our lives, from our dreams.

Like an addiction, it can cripple and consume us.

It poses more danger to us than what we fear.

Of course, some things we should fear.

Fear protects us.

(also)

It directs us.

It tells us where to look, what to do, how to grow.

In our fears lie our courage.

Fear fear, nothing else.

(Not original, but still worth saying.)

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(closing thought)

I hate this woman’s writing but I love her thinking.

Today I read this:

—The longer I live, the more deeply I learn that love — whether we call it friendship or family or romance — is the work of mirroring and magnifying each other’s light. Gentle work. Steadfast work. Life-saving work in those moments when life and shame and sorrow occlude our own light from our view, but there is still a clear-eyed loving person to beam it back. In our best moments, we are that person for another.

All my love (and a beam of light),

— D

P.S.

The weather went from 100s to 70s (F) overnight.

I heard the perfect quote too:

—You’ve always lived in a Mediterranean climate. A clear, mild, and perfect environment.

(i have mostly)

In L.A., we have the “marine layer.”

(i’ve always loved that name)

Maybe other places have it too — a sheet of thick grey clouds that come in from the sea.

It seemed so cool and damp this morning, I thought it might rain.

(It reminded me of the “peninsula mentality” vs “island mentality” argument, I don’t know why.)

Oh!, and there was an earthquake today!

⚡️ 

It puts everything in perspective.

P.P.S.

I have been craving chocolate and mushrooms lately, in no real order.

(am i pregnant?)

Also, sautéed green beans with slivered almonds is a winning combination!

P.P.P.S.

I also can’t get this stupid song off my mind (here).

Which then reminded me of this song (here).