My Dearest T —
(randomness alert)
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I had a funny day Thursday.
(Interesting to me, boring to anybody.)
First, I had a visit from an old friend, Red Cat.
He always used to hang out in my backyard.
He would hop the front gate, hang out, then hop the back gate.
Small guy, a teenager.
Often, he’d sit at my patio door, looking in, watching me as if watching television.
(What was he thinking?
Was I a good actor?)
He seemed like a human just trapped inside a cat.
I hadn’t seen him lately.
Yesterday he climbed the back gate, looked at me, then slipped under and out.
I get it: Sometimes you just don’t want to deal with people.
It reminded me of this song (here):
“Well I’m a Red Cat till I die, I’m a Red Cat through and through
Now you can’t turn me yellow and you can’t make me blue
You can’t make me do things I know it’s wrong to do
I’m a Red Cat till I die, I’m telling you”
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Then, sitting in my usual spot, a bee fell from the sky, (?!), landing on my belly.
He did that dance that bees do.
Was he trying to tell me something?
I don’t know.
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I remembered this song yesterday — “Einstein’s Day” (here) by Mission Of Burma, a Boston band.
I have no idea what this song is about — painting? — yet it always took the pain away.
(Mission of Burma lyric: —Honesty’s an actor’s worst mistake.)
(bullshit)
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Boston on my mind lately.
A few times there, I felt so lonely I thought I might die.
Not to mention, how dark, cold, snowy, rainy, or too damn humid it got.
(Weather can really fuck with your mental.)
The hardest times teach the greatest lessons though.
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Did I mention I studied theater in college?
I always forget that I did.
I also worked in one, the American Repertory Theatre.
(While a nobody, I met a lot of somebodies.)
I should reread/rewatch The Caucasian Chalk Circle sometime. I always loved that one.
I have a thing about circles — a future letter, for sure.
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Which reminds me, I hate the word compromise.
(not just the word, the idea)
Compromise implies, I gain something and you lose something and vice versa.
So, everyone loses.
I believe in win-win-win:
I get what I want and you get what you want and the relationship grows even stronger.
Yet people rarely see all the possibilities that exist.
(why mindfulness and meditation matter)
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Confluence, on the other hand, a word I do love:
—the flowing together of two or more things, usually towards a greater purpose
From the Latin confluēns, meaning literally:
flowing together
(I think I’ve just found the name of my production company!)
(confluēns)
(i love it)
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Parents often get stupid ideas.
I remembered this because I started boxing again.
I taught my daughter to box once, for self-confidence, self-defense, and self-esteem.
(She was 9 or 10.)
She was great — that Hernandez mean streak, remember.
One day, she got mad at me.
(Kids always get mad at their parents. We rarely know why.)
She yelled and screamed in my face.
OK, I don’t condone violence, but I told her —Hit me!
She did.
(reference: here)
Luckily, she stuck to body shots.
I nursed bruised ribs and abs but felt fine.
She got shook.
Her own rage terrified her.
We never did that again.
In fact, we got along well afterwards.
Talk about catharsis.
(true story)
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I read a quote about Barbara Stanwyck.
(God I love her)
—She only lives for two things, and both of them are work.
(three for me)
So, my exciting news: I got asked to teach a writing class.
I would build the curriculum from scratch.
(on top of my writing coaching gigs)
I felt flattered — but what really excited me?
Helping young people write well — a skill they’ll use all their lives.
(me so dramatic)
I beamed when they asked me, as if they had asked
—Would you like a million dollars?
I already wrote the proposal.
It feels like a gift.
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I read that: —Scripts are built.
My first thought? —So is love.
Word by word. Act by act.
(love in general)
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All my love,
(who could deserve it more?)
(though you needn’t)
— D