Dear T — 

—When you take the right path, you meet the right people.

I believe that.

(That requires its own letter to explain. I’ll come back to it.)

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I’ve said before, things find me:

I watched this movie I’d never heard of — made by all these people I had heard of — which made me smile inside and out.

Lately, I’ve had this one song stuck in my head, “Twilight Zone” by Van Morrison. Not the original though, the alternate take. (link)

The “Twilight Zone” featured prominently in the film. So did “Marty,” the movie I mentioned last time. Other things, too

It seemed like the script wove together several things on my mind into its own thing. Coincidence, I suppose, but I love that.

Things find me.

The right things.

(Side note:

I love so many Van Morrison songs because I have no idea what they’re about.

For example, and these are among my favorite songs of all time:

—”Joe Harper Saturday Morning”

—”Linden Arden Stole the Highlights”

—Pretty much every song on Veedon Fleece

I have my theories about what they mean and who exactly populates these songs — criminals and queens, mostly — but still, not much.

I love how they capture the emotional ripples of an event without ever naming it.

They embody mystery.)

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Let me quickly update you on my menagerie.

(Me: Writer or zookeeper?)

I’ve written you about spiders, hummingbirds, chickens and now — 

This dog I saw leaving the coffee shop — a loaf of bread body with a biscuit face. As I passed, it looked up at me.

He had this happy/shameful expression, as if to say, —I know I’m ugly and unworthy, but don’t tell them. They love me and I love them!

(smart dog)

Butterflies flit everywhere now. They annoy me. Watching them fly gives me a headache.

Bumblebees have also come out. Did you know they’re blind? They fly straight into things. I love that.

I saw a kitten run behind a fence. It reminded me, when I was a kid.

My grandmother lived with us. She grew champagne grapes in our backyard. In the vines I saw a kitten.

I called to it. I didn’t mean it any harm. I was maybe seven.

It hissed at me, once, twice. Then it leapt out, leaving three bright red lines on my shoulder.

I wasn’t afraid or angry, just hurt and embarrassed.

I think I kept that in the back of my mind as a lesson, although I probably didn’t realize it then.

Never think forgiveness shows weakness. It can take all the strength you have. Kindness, too.

(Ironic, considering love steals your bones.)

My hummingbird, again.

When I see her, even for a moment, it makes me happy.

I feel stupid admitting this but, when she hovered in front of me, I said out loud —Miss you… Love you…

(hopeless)

Oh I almost forgot. This small, female jay has claimed the corner of the sidewalk at the end of my block as her own — the entire corner.

She defends it.

(aggressively)

Can you picture this?

I love thrashers.

(no fear)

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In the playground next to my coffee shop right now a dad is tossing his daughter into the air and catching her.

Setting her back down on the ground again gently each time.

The kid loves it. She’s two.

The mom looks concerned but the dad is exactly right.

We need not fear every risk.

(There are safe risks and unsafe risks like there are rational fears and irrational fears.)

Some lead to joy.

Teach them young.

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I have to tell you about my workplace drama. Next time though.

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I had a few thoughts about honesty and truth.

We all selectively share — but why?

Two main reasons:

1) we want to fit in

(only natural)

2) we want to be that person

(more important)

Well why not?

Who we want to become matters more than who we are now.

Create yourself, like a work of art.

Seize the opportunity!

Can we do anything greater?

(—what a fruit, what a tree you shall be)

Not just for yourself, but for those around you.

I laugh when people say —I’m no good because I do x, y, and z.

People who know what they’ve done “wrong” know where to focus.

(The people who aren’t aware fail.)

—How?, you ask.

In my favorite scene from The Bear, s3e10, Thomas Keller teaches Carmy about wishbones. He says what my Rector always said:

—Do a little better than you did yesterday.

(every day)

That is all. That is enough.

(really)

Also:

Don’t think for a moment that if someone knew everything about you they couldn’t love you.

They couldn’t love you if they didn’t know you.

Real love begins with knowing.

To be loved, be seen.

(Shame prevents connection.)

This doesn’t mean you have to tell everyone everything.

It means don’t be afraid to share things with people you trust.

(It would surprise you what touches another person’s soul, what turns them on, what inspires love.)

As for truth, there are several kinds:

—factual

—emotional

—spiritual

Emotional trumps all.

Feel everything and say how you feel — or else why live?

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You wrote this paragraph recently that I found so beautiful.

It moved, so gracefully, between the external, internal, and true.

(You didn’t even know you did, did you?)

You don’t have to write 24 books or 12 scripts to change the world.

You can write 124 pages that change everything.

(like Juan Rulfo)

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I might get a skateboard.

If I do, no more letters, I will likely die.

I’ll write again soon. I need to empty my heart regularly or I don’t know what I’ll do.

— All my love (yesterday, today, tomorrow, always) D

P.S. I should mention, the other day I felt really sad and got drunk on Scotch and soda, which I haven’t done in years.

While drunk, I read your poem, which you had posted minutes earlier, about sorrow and whiskey.

A coincidence, I know, but I love that just the same.

P.P.S… …thinkers… …use… …ellipses… … … …