Dear T —

The last letter reminded me.

I often think about acting and voice lessons. First, to understand. Second, for work. I present a lot.

I work at the top advertising agency in NYC. Why? Same creative process as film making. Also, money.

I wonder what my “character” would be/do/want/feel? I hate when actors play themselves — but I totally would.

My traits: calm – kind – comic – quirky – quick. (Yes?) My motivation: To love someone deeply, fully, magically — like in the movies!

I’ve had this argument with my other bestie, W, for years: Do people change? (If they can, should they?)

She said no; I said yes. She won. Yet I only understood later when I got this advice:

 —Become who you are.

(Passing this on as a reminder to myself.)

It took time to get this, let alone to live it. How to explain?

-Imagine a precious stone you need to scrub, chip clean, then polish.

-Take some Neapolitan ice cream, let it melt some, then mix it till it turns that pretty grey/brown/pink.

-Remember a landscape you saw. Did you think even for a second —But for those trees…?

T, we are a chaotic perfection.

What’s within

-Acknowledge, compassionately

-Accept, unconditionally

-Celebrate, unequivocally

Love yourself with constant wonder — from shore to shore, to the moon and back — and keep people near you who reflect your light back to you.

It’s a miracle you are who you are. It’s a miracle you are.

(For half my life I hated myself — that’s another letter — and if I could undo it all, I would in an instant.)

I sound like a fortune cookie. I actually wrote a story about fortune cookies. One of my favorite stories…

BACK TO SCENE — I did act in high school once. Hamlet, for English, two scenes. Nailed it, lol.

When you say and believe the words, it transforms you — like a spell, or Harry Potter spectacles. It reveals you. Heals you?

So that the joke’s not all on me, I asked S for one. She keeps a Rolodex of jokes. (Not joking.) I didn’t tell her why, so see how perfect this is?

—How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman?

(Punchline in P.S.)

— Your D

P.S. —None.

P.P.S. And that syllabus… I love learning—

(La,Ca)